Are You Ready to Get Up Close and Personal?

We’ve all had moments in our lives when we have worked very hard on something and we’ve put our heart and soul into it and for some reason, it just didn’t work out the way we planned.  Maybe it was a huge proposal or project for work or possibly it was an event you planned.  Oh. I know. It was that promotion you should have received…but it didn’t happen. Or worse, you were let go from a company you were dedicated to for more than 30 years.  In any of these scenarios, what is the last thing you want to hear as a response? 

“It’s nothing personal…” they say.

Nothing personal? Really? Are you kidding me? How do they even come to that conclusion?

One of my all time favorite movies is the 1998 romantic-comedy, You’ve Got Mail, starring Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks. Kathleen Kelly (Ryan’s character) runs a children’s book store inherited by her mother called The Shop Around the Corner. Hanks (Joe Fox) is a third generation who runs a huge chain of mega stores called Fox Books. This movie is full of wonderful dialogue and quotes. One of my favorites is when Joe tries to make amends for causing Kathleen’s  family shop to close down. Listen to Kathleen’s response. Do you agree or disagree?

I can relate to Kathleen Kelly’s thoughts.

When I think about all the relationships in my life…past, present and future; I think about how personal it was, is and will be. When I think about all the many aspects of my work over the past 25 years, I can’t help but think about how personal it has all meant to me. When I think about the person I was, am, and hope to become; it’s all personal.

The phrases, “Don’t take it personally,” or “It’s not personal,” has been around for years and has become a cliché in corporate America. It has become an unconscious way of saying something and comes off as passive-aggressive.  There are times when these few words have hit me as an insult but not anymore.

How? you ask.

I refuse to allow the negativity to become mine.

Although these few words may hurt, depending on how it’s said and by whom, I have realized what others say or do to me is a projection of their own reality, not mine. I choose to not let it define me and I put it behind me. I am not responsible for the actions or words of others nor will I assume harm was intended. I am not interested in their polite rejection. Investing in personal projects and personal relationships has value.  Obviously, the person making this statement hasn’t made the personal connection so I choose to not let it define me and I put it behind me. Everything I do is personal… Everything I say is personal… Everything I am is personal…personal to me but maybe no so much to someone else.

So, what’s your personal thoughts? Agree? Disagree? Feel free to share.  I won’t take it personally. 🙂

©LauraConrad

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Confession #4

I Have a Confession to Make

I Have a Confession to Make
The word “intimidate” is intimidating to me.
I Have a Confession to Make
I can look at myself in the mirror one moment, and then the next, see something totally different.
I Have a Confession to Make
In general, I think the world doesn’t really care enough about an issue until something traumatic happens, and then they care.
I Have a Confession to Make
I once had a best friend but now is a stranger…
I Have a Confession to Make
I’m not afraid of the dark, but more of what’s in it.
I Have a Confession to Make
Sometimes, I think a guilty conscience is a gift from God.
I Have a Confession to Make
Some people may think working from home is a piece of cake, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Working from home is WORK!
I Have a Confession to Make
I admit it…I sometimes daydream of what it would be like to live the life of the rich and famous…and then I thank God I’m not.
I Have a Confession to Make
I sometimes act as though something doesn’t matter, but down deep…it breaks my heart.
I Have a Confession to Make
I sometimes forget what I should remember and remember those things I should forget.
I Have a Confession to Make
My worst conflict: what I know I should do vs. what I feel.

I Have a Confession to Make
I can be overbearing, annoying and sometimes overly emotional…but thankfully,it doesn’t happen often nor last long, when I am. I think….  🙂
I Have a Confession to Make
I often think this… but, it’s my first time saying it…” Denying the truth doesn’t change the facts!”
I Have a Confession to Make
I can’t remember what it’s like to not be tired.
I Have a Confession to Make
I think jealousy is a lack of self-confidence. Do I get jealous? Yes!
I Have a Confession to Make
I am a Christian…A Christian with flaws.

God sees me and knows me. He understands me. He loves me.He forgives me.

His love and grace covers me completely. I am thankful. I am blessed.

This is the ultimate confession.

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School Readiness

My grandson face-timed yesterday morning just before he left for his 2-year-old pre-k class. With his backpack on and pencil in hand, he began to show me how to use an eraser. The pencil, held tightly between his fingers, went round and round in circle motions. He continued as he turned the pencil upside down and quickly rubbed the eraser across the page. The circles were gone. His eraser worked.

My thoughts can’t help but go back in time of my early childhood memories. The options of early childhood education never existed. My first years of schooling began in the first grade. As harsh as it was leaving my mother’s side and stepping up into that huge yellow bus each day, I managed. But what I didn’t manage well was not being prepared for the cruel and mean-spirited treatment of other children I had to be with all day long.

Meanness carries a lot of power.
“Oh, how I wish I could have taken a pencil and just erased all the meanness away.”

But I couldn’t …and if I did, what would that have accomplished?

Yes, I was a victim of childhood bullying. I was made fun of not only of my outward appearance but also of my spiritual upbringing. As a child, I grew up with a realness of the words in the Holy Bible…Do unto others as you would have others do unto you; and love thy neighbor as thyself. What child really completely understands the true meaning of these verses? Me. That’s who. The way I was being treated was not the way I treated others nor was it the way I wanted to be treated.

A little kindness goes a long way but the sad thing is that a little cruelty goes further.
“Being bullied or ridiculed as a child is not a harmless rite of passage. It can cause a shadow over adulthood.”

Like most children, I survived the meanness of others. I brushed it off the best I could and grew up realizing who I didn’t want to become. Even as an adult, I have to admit I… faced the same treatment.  Again, I brushed it off.

Why are some people mean-spirited?

I’m sure we all have our own answers to this question but I guess the real question should be…
“What can we do about it?”

Although I brushed it off, I still have some insecurities, even as an adult. If we could only take an eraser and remove all the cruelness in the world. But it doesn’t work that way…does it? So, what do we do? First, if you’ve done no wrong, then accept and know it’s not your fault. Realize that some people are just mean. No matter what we do. No Matter what we say. People will be mean. Second, remember that we can control our responses. Kindness is the best cure. Third, see beyond the meanness. Have compassion for someone who obviously needs help. Fourth, pray for them. And Fifth…Forgive. Forgive. Forgive.

Parents, I know your little ones will face meanness. They will not be immune to it nor can they overlook it. Please give them the skills to be kind through your example. Ask them questions. Talk with them. Let them know you want to help. Listen! Please show them there is another way. Teach your children to pray for their enemies. Teach them to rise above the hurt and regain the true power through God’s love.

God can erase all hurt.

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Pardon the Interruption…

I am standing on my Christian principles,

my freedom of speech,

and my moral conscience

to say these few words.

 

Fifty Shades of Grey is not love.

Fifty Shades of Grey is not moral.

Fifty Shades of Grey is not romance.

Fifty Shades of Grey is Unacceptable!

Fifty Shades of Grey is just wrong!

#NOGREYNOWAY

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©Photos by Laura