I Don’t Need You


Did this title get your attention? Does it sound bitter?

I hope you said “yes” to both because now you may be interested in reading further.

Bitter (adjective)

     having a sharp, pungent taste or smell; not sweet

(of people or their feelings or behavior) anger, hurt, or resentful because of one’s bad experiences or a sense of unjust treatment

Yes. We’ve all been there at one time or another. Whether it’s been with ourselves or others, we have been bitter. One of the greatest prisons we can live in is that of building walls around us and succumb to bitterness. But how do we escape and break free of the chains of anger and hurt from our bitterness? It’s not easy and there’s no one real answer but rather it’s a challenge with many attempts to succeed.  How do I know this? Because I know what bitterness looks and feels like. Here are just a few tips that have helped me and maybe help you, as well.

STOP

Stop over-thinking the hurt. Stop over-talking the pain. It’s ok and normal to feel some hurt and pain when we experience something negative, but don’t dwell. Don’t retell. Unless you are talking and re-telling through in a therapeutic way, then it needs to stop.

Bitterness is a fermenting of unforgiveness.

We can become intoxicated on our own negativity

and eventually become addicted to our own hurt and pain.

PRAY

Pray for you and those who hurt you. Prayer is a form of confession. A confession to God of your hurts and releasing your bitterness is surrendering to a positive healing heart.

FORGIVE

Just because we forgive doesn’t mean we will forget the pain someone has caused us. But, forgiveness will release us of the pain bitterness has caused. Just because we forgive doesn’t mean we approve of their behavior. But, it does mean we will change our behavior. Forgiveness is more about helping ourselves.

FOCUS

Bitterness has a way of returning and reoccurring. If this happens, focus on the ‘here and now.’ Keep the past in the past. Leave the negative thoughts behind. Focus your energy on striving to stay ‘bitter-free.’ Resist the temptation and put your interest in helping others who may be struggling with issues.

REALIZE

Realize that some people may never change and you cannot control their behavior. But, you can change and control the way you act and react to their negativity.

SEEK HELP

Sometimes, no matter what you say or do…no matter how many attempts you make, the issue cannot be resolved. If this is the case, it’s perfectly acceptable to seek professional counseling to find helpful alternatives in resolving your struggles.

A heart stained in anger can lead to a life of bitterness. A life of bitterness is lived in the color of monochrome. Monochrome is a place to visit but never a place to stay.

PhotosByLaura

Copyright 2017~The View From My Window

All Rights Reserved

 

23 thoughts on “I Don’t Need You

  1. Reblogged this on Life is for Living Every Day and commented:
    “I don’t need you!”

    How many times have you actually said those words to someone? I know I have said them more than once; actually shouted would be a better description. Yet nothing changed. The person I shouted at behaved the same and the situation dragged on.
    This post offers some really good advice on how to move past this feeling. My only comment is that I am sorry i didn’t have such words of wisdom when I needed them most 10 years ago.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: THE VIEW FROM MY WINDOWS | Poet's Corner

  3. Pingback: THE VIEW FROM MY WINDOWS | The Reluctant Poet

  4. Reblogged this on The Reluctant Poet and commented:
    I would like to introduce You to Laura of “The View From My Window” blog. Laura stopped by my blog and I saw a title she has written “I Don’t Need You” and it really struck me because it deals with a subject we all have had to deal with – Bitterness.

    Laura has written a great post on the subject of Bitterness for everyone who has had a broken heart, been divorced, suffered the passing of a loved one or other losses or hurtful experiences in everyday life. I’ve raised my hand – how about You??

    I hope you find this as insightful as I did!

    Loved Laura’s About line – Everyone has a window and each window has a view. This is the View From My Window.

    Please enjoy this post and visit Laura at The View From My Window – (great title).

    Liked by 1 person

      • Hi, Just wanted to thank you for such a great post! It really hit me and I was happy to reblog it. I also want to congratulate you for providing the seed of inspiration to me from your blog title. It turns out that it was the inspiration for my poem “The View From My Windows”. You are the first person to receive a reblog and inspire a poem by me in just one view!!! You are now a member of my Inspirators Club!! This is a select group of writers who have provided me with the inspiration for a poem!! Congratulations!! Your Gold Stars are on their way!!! Bravo!!!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Laura, such a wonderful post on a much needed topic! I think so many of us have issues with this that are buried deep in our souls and held there for years and sometimes subconsciously. Fantastic on a tough topic! Bravo!

    The thing I want to know is this – Are you taking away alot of the inspirational motivation for some of us poets – hurt, pain heartbreak? How many of my works might never have gotten written if I got hunky-dory with my pain and hurt and got over it quickly? Ha! Just a thought? There is some difference between Bitter and Bittersweet? You should follow up with a comparison on the two.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog! Please come back and go through some of my older posts!!

    I am reblogging this! Pretty good to hit me so hard on the very first view of Your work?
    Kudos!!!

    Like

    • Wow! Thanks so much for the re-blog and positive feedback. I truly appreciate it. My writing comes from all sources….my thoughts, media, blog posts, Facebook feed, people I know, observing people I don’t know… and the list goes on. Everything in and around me and my little world is all a part of who I am so I use it as a learning experience. Thanks for asking a really great question. 😀 As far as bitter and bittersweet, I’ve experienced both many times. The tears fall from both but only one comes with a smile😀

      Liked by 1 person

      • Great answer! I think You are exactly right – bitter, an opening thought of hurt, anger that gets overruled and washed away with sweet. Loved it! Very wise!

        I owe You such a debt for leaving a seed of inspiration for my poem! Thanks! I think I will add “bittersweet” to Your ledger in my Word Bank. I will have to go through You older works and see what You have there!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Pingback: The Weekly Headlines – My Daily Musing

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