A Mother’s Guilt


There is no one right way when it comes to being a mother. There are many ways to being a successful mom, whether you hold down a full-time job or not.

My children are grown now, but I remember feeling guilty for being a stay-at-home mom. Being young and new to motherhood, all I wanted to do was be home with my precious baby girl.

Struggling with just one income, my husband supported my decision but I felt so much guilt for not contributing to paying the bills. Life as a young married couple was challenging but adding a child and subtracting an income was even more challenging.

I knew if I worked, I would have to leave her with someone else to care for her. How could I do that? That was my job. I was her mother. And then there was the question of ‘How could we even afford to pay for child care?’

~So stuck between a rock and a hard place, I chose to stay home.~

Today, families thrive on two parent incomes. Child care is expensive. And yes, working mothers feel the same guilt as the stay-at-home moms.

Some mothers who are happy working full-time say they are a better parent because of being employed. They feel they are able to appreciate their time with their children and it’s about quality, not quantity. Of course, some would love to spend more time with their children, but the time spent is spent well. Whichever mom you are, employed or stay-at-home, you are supporting your family by your decision.

To all you moms, don’t feel the guilt. It won’t be beneficial to you, your work or your family. Try to find peace in the midst of the craziness. You know…the moments when everything seems to go wrong and you feel it’s all your fault. It’s NOT!

IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT!

Take a few minutes each day to focus on you. Remind yourself that you don’t have to be a supermom. Just be their mom.

This is your journey…

Ask yourself, ‘What would make you happy?’ Is it attainable? And then go for it? Sacrifices may need to be made, but in long run…it may be worth it.

To all you moms…You are not wrong for working! You are not wrong for staying home. And, you are not alone. Many mothers feel the same guilt as you.

To all you dedicated mothers…You are admired because when you tire, you keep going. All through the beautiful chaos, you remain strong and amazing. You are their rock.

God has given you a purpose. That purpose is within you and only you. Find it and fulfill it and give God the glory. You are admired. Your passions, your fears, your struggles and tears are creating a beautiful picture that you may not see right now, but I promise…Someday you will.

Copyright 2017 ~ All rights reserved

PhotosByLaura

(Photos: Me with my two grandsons.  Hands: Mine and my oldest grandson.)

18 thoughts on “A Mother’s Guilt

  1. Pingback: The Weekly Headlines by lafayetteangel – Br Andrew's Muses

  2. My guilt was the other way around. My baby daughter was inmature. She came home at 4 lbs. 12 ozs. We picked her from the hospital on Friday, and had to take her to a babysitter on Monday! We had one sitter lined up. On our way home from the hospital, we stopped by one sitter, she turned down the job because my baby was so tiny. We prayed. On Saturday, a Christian lady called and volunteered to babysit my daughter. All the years she was growing up, I felt guilty not being able to spend time with her. The other part of the story was that I was the breadwinner, my ex didn’t work. So I told my daughter that if they could afford, be a stay home mom for a while. But they have different idea. She wants to work part-time, and have her husband spend part of the week working at home (it works for his company). They haven’t started a family yet, but many discussions.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wow! Such a heartfelt story. I’m a certified Child Development Specialist and all I’ve know for the past 20 years is caring for and loving other children. I would have counted it a blessing to have cared for your daughter. Life has a way of bringing circumstances to each of us and guilt has a way of creeping in even when there’s nothing to feel guilty for. All we can do is be our best and pray our choices are for the good. I’m sure even with all your guilt, your daughter has a deep appreciation and love for your sacrifices.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: The Weekly Headlines – My Daily Musing

  4. Well worded and beautiful post. Motherhood is not an easy journey – not by a mile. I’ve gone through both ways of working, staying home etc and either ways it’s not easy but the most important thing is to make the right decisions that work for your family at that point in time.

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    • I can only speak for me and others I’ve come in contact with, but they have all felt some degree of guilt at one point or another. A mother’s love is like no other. Thanks for your comments!😀

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    • Thanks Peggy. I hear so many mothers feeling guilty on both ends. And some have made the choice to give up their career for a while to be home with them.
      It’s never easy to make sacrifices but love makes it bearable. 😃

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I wish I could stay home with my kids. I am a single mother of two. I feel guilty I don’t have a solid family unit for them. I feel guilty other people have them most of the day, I feel guilty, I feel like I don’t have adequate time. I have a good job, but sometimes it’s not enough. I feel guilty for being tired. I love them almost more than I can bear. My heart is always ask full of what I want for them as the love I have. I don’t know sometimes what to do with that. I know I just went into full confession here, but I appreciate your writing and sharing in a manner that was genuine.

    Liked by 2 people

    • You are definitely not alone and I’m sure you have been down the road with the guilt trips for way too long.
      You have been blessed with the ability for them to be in child care. If they seem happy and well cared for, they are in a good place. Kids have a way of seeing things from an adults perspective that we don’t realize. They do see your sacrifices and one day, they will thank you. They will see how hard you worked to support them and one day, appreciate you all the more. Moms have a tough job and never enough recognition. But it’s really not about the recognition but more about the unconditional love only a mother can give her children. Never doubt your motherhood and believe in yourself as a parent. Mothers succeed not because they never struggle but because of overcoming their struggles.
      I appreciate your heartfelt comments. I’m sure other mothers who share your struggle can appreciate them, as well! 😃

      Liked by 1 person

    • It was so difficult to pay the bills back then. I felt so guilty for not contributing to the income and not being able to give the extras to my children if I had worked. I knew we really couldn’t afford to have children nor stay home if we did. But, the guilt managed to disappear and God supplied. 😃

      Liked by 1 person

      • “I knew we really couldn’t afford to have children” – that’s the hidden pain for many. We were 12 kids and stay at home mom (and thank God for her-never would want any other way than that) and always felt rich because it was a home full of love and laughter.

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